Saturday, 4 August 2007

The Major Imp Episodes

Although the Fuun typically want little to do with them, they do suffer from an inferiority complex when it comes to Imps. This is most evident in the large amount of extremely popular spy stories in which the Fuun novice invariably wins against a hard-boiled, sinister Imp character, who either dies (after a heroic attempt by the hero to save his life) or is converted to Fuun philosophy and thereafter serves the functional cause. A few short excerpts of such a story were recovered from Endo's DNA. It is still unclear whether these stories could actually play a role in saving Endo. For your amusement, we have included the very first episode below:

Only just before sleep-groggy roosters reared their scrawny heads, there was a hesitant knock on the steel door of the austere office of semi-colonel Void. "ENTER", rang out from the room, as though spoken in a medium-sized cathedral. Novice Imp entered the cramped room with some trepidation, knowing full well that many a (not so intelligent) agent had become deallocated after nary a slip of the tongue. Lieutenant Ptr, for example, had referred in His presence to "some unwanted side-effects" of a particular investigation. Ptr had promised that it wouldn't happen again, and Void had made sure that indeed it wouldn't.

Somewhat weak at the knees, Imp made for the middle of the room, where he stood at attention. "RELAX", spoke Void, in his usual teletype voice that belied the contents. "I have heard that among our recruits, you are the one adhering closest our revered commandos. We have a sensitive and dangerous mission scheduled and you have been chosen to volunteer..." (call-cc)


Clive said...

Fuunily enough, I found the Major Imp story (along with a number of others interesting titbits) buried in Endo's DNA late yesterday. I haven't read the whole saga yet, but just a few minutes ago decided to google for "Major Imp" to see what it might turn up, and lo and behold, this blog was top of the list!

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